There are things you wish you never did
There are words you wish you never said
There are feelings you wish you never had
But you can't avoid it
You think you can predict
Forsee Everything, like me
But some things are not predictable
Like  When we met first time,  when
I never thought I would meet someone
like you
I never thought I would feel this way
I hoped it would never be like this
but at the same time I feared it would
never happen, never exist, never feel
Love
One  word;   but  it's  unpredictable
I  thought  I  have  planned  my  life
At  least  for  the   next  couple  years
But it looks like it doesn't work like that
It changed everything; you changed it all
You changed my life, now and for the future
I can't stop thinking about you even though I
know that it is totally dump; it will never be like
this one night again; where it was just us two
one perfect night for a life of bad memories
I think it's worth it - with you I had the
best time of my life - forever; I still
remember what you said, what
you wore; what it felt like
having you by my side
feeling your hair,
seeing you smile
sleep and be happy
just by being there with
me,  someone you  never met
before  this  day;  but  you t rusted  me
like  you  know  me  since  we   are   children
You gave me this feeling of being loved, depending
on someone who needs me just to be together as two parts
of a whole; we never actually touched in a way anybody else does
but I still feel like I shared everything with you.
But it wasn't perfect.
I noticed that is is just perfect and the worst thing ever at the very same time.
I miss you like I never missed something before or will ever miss; I can't stop thinking
about you, how your hair smells, your eyes looks like, that little stud you wore on that one day
[I love that thing, did I mention that?] or what you wore, how you moved, what you said, ... everything
What you acted like, what you looked like when you laugh and when you are happy; when you are sad or when
you are tired - I just love being around you. There are so many things I love about you - I could give you infinite examples
only limited by the words of our languages that can't really express what we feel, what we think
and still just get started - I am thinking about you all the time when I'm not supposed to or when I don't want to
like in school when someone acts in a way that shows' he's happy, or tired, ... I think of you all too much ... just can't stop
it; my thoughts are full of you. You are like poison and my antidote the same time; I can't live without you but the same time I can't live with you. I just feel too much. I feel love, sadness, joy, hope,
happiness, warm, shy, imperfect, awesome, ...
all the same time ... it's just all too much for me; it's just like ... I can't compare it ...
I feel too much for you for us to be friends, do you get that? I can't live with you because I would always want more
and it is no good to base a friendship or relationship on that; you should feel just whole with each other - all the time
that's what I do; at least somehow;; sometimes. I feel like I could easily take you as my partner but not all the time
sometimes it just feels 'right' to be together just as friends - and I hate this. It feels good but somehow like you try to
put the right piece of puzzle the wrong way on mine; and it fits but it is not the way it is supposed to be.
"Too   much   for   friendship   --   not   enough   for   a   relationship."
I used that phrase all too much but it is the easiest way for others to understand what is going on in me
it's  like  a  fight  I  can't  win  or  make  a  tie  --  in  the  end  I  will  loose;  one  thing  or  another
I'm not that sort of guys who says "It's over." one day and then comes back after a couple days and asks
"Hey, I know I did everything wrong. But I still love you; you are still my only one. Can you please take me back?"
bullsh!t dude, seriously! I mean, if you break up with someone then you broke up!
That's the way it is, humans fall in love, break up, love again, ... this is how it goes since the very first time.
I don't know how it will be for me; I hope I will be able to love again because you showed me that I can't be without
it forever; I was suffering before and I am suffering now since it's over and I noticed what damage it did to me.
I love you; but I have to let you go because I ain't good for you.
I am sorry for what I did to you but I know you will get over it.
You had two relationships; in the second one you were happy with
your second partner; why not do it again? You can do it. I hope.
The thing I want least on earth is you sad if I could prevent it.
You know you can still call me, write me or come over; I will be
there for you; but I can't promise for how long it will be like that.
I love you.

and so I say I don't love you
even though it kills me
it's a lie that sets you, free